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Monday, August 13, 2012

Weariness

Well it has been quiet on this blog for a while.  Mostly due to the fact that I'm feeling a little burnt out and down.  Not so much from the blog but life in general.

I try not to write "Woe is me" blog posts because I life is pretty dang fantastic.  I have a job that I love (if a little uninspiring at times, not the most difficult programming job I've had) which in and of itself makes be better off than most in our economy today.  It was only last year that I fled a job I absolutely despised, not so much the job but the management that lacked the ability to clearly communicate objectives and punished myself and others for this.  To have moved from that sad position to this job, which I love and work with people most agreeable, is a wonderful blessing.

I have a wife who I love dearly and am grateful to God everyday for her.  We do have a tendency to reinforce our worst shut-in instincts, and so getting out of the apartment on the weekends is a major struggle. And Operation Video Game Conversion continues to suffer tremendous setbacks.  But otherwise no major issues on the marriage front and three years of wedded bliss have graced my life.

So how to account of this mellow feeling?  A couple of things may be responsible.  The first is that I haven't had a real vacation in some time.  We have stolen a weekend here and there, even 4 days or so.  But most of vacation time goes to family visits or some things that while fun do drain vacation time like weddings, family trip to Korea, etc.  Plus my wife has lab work and a lot of her work is time sensitive, so we have to work around her schedule.  So I think burn out is a part of it.

Also I have not been to Reconciliation in a while.  The signs are all present.  Unaccounted for anxiety, fatigue, and a general lack of focus.  Not that I've done anything horrible lately, or that one can find evidence for anyway.  I have grown in the Faith to know that when I have this anxiety and lack of focus it is usually because my soul is asking for a routine cleaning.  This Saturday I will oblige.

 All in all I'm just beat, and because of that posting is a bit sparse here.  I hope to get back on track this week with postings completing why Aquinas is needed.  In the meantime, I'm going to rest up.  I've already had a sick day (something is going around here) and I'm not feeling all that great anyway.  So I ask for my readers to be patient.

Thanks!

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