Monday, January 7, 2013

Dominican Prayer Day 4

So I was somewhat rushed with prayer for Sunday, so I felt bad about not being able to devote the time that I should.  But given I have no idea how much time I should devote to the first way, I feel a bit better.  But then again because I am so obsessed with metrics and because of this I become a little frustrated that I don't seem to be doing better with the First Way.

Confused yet?   Well, so am I.  I guess my initial frustration comes from that I do not feel satisfied.  The feeling of something like "I'm totally getting holy now" or some such.  I mean I wasn't expecting some Road to Damascus moment but I do think that my disappointment stems from some expectation not being met.

I will say what is interesting though.  After praying with the first way I find that there is some mark on my thoughts.  I am more conscious of my prayer and find that my attitude is different.  It's very subtle.  At first I didn't even notice that it was there until the first night where I said my usual prayers after praying the First Way.  More conscious.  More reflective.  I took my time to pray and found my ability to focus was enhanced in some subtle way.

I take comfort in the fact that this first Way was used for preparation.  To me this seems fitting as I feel like when I'm done with the Way I'm ready to really start praying.  But since the book tells us to become more familiar with each Way I feel somewhat restricted.  But then again I see that could be more pride than anything.

On Thursday I begin the Second Way.  Very interested.

1 comment:

JC said...

This could be interesting. We had a sort of miniature study day with the local lay Dominicans on the nine ways, but I don't think all of them got covered.